cancer and dating pt. 1

Well, I have so much that I want to write about but I find myself with no idea of where or how to start. So I am just rambling in hopes that a starting point comes to me. I absolutely love living alone. The weight and anxiety I would allow myself to succumb to when I had roommates has been lifted. It’s just sheer Danielle and Pickle bliss. Work has been getting very busy which is good because it allows me to rack in that over time baby! (Which I will need lots of to afford the two weddings on the east coast I have to go to at the end of this year.) Annnnnnd that’s basically my boring day to day at the moment. I wish it was more exciting.

I have been on a handful of first dates since jumping back on the dating app wagon. (Hinge seems to be my app du jor currently.) Dating is hard. I am aware you all are aware of this, but I just want to whine about it for a moment. It’s my thing, I whine, if you don’t want to hear it then stop reading now.

This blog is called Well, This Sucks for crying out loud.

My first date out the gate was a meet up at Forest Lawn Memorial Glendale in search of Walt Disney’s grave. Weird right? It was my idea. We didn’t find it though. Not the only disappointing thing to happen on my dating adventures since. I went on a couple of meet and greets for drinks that went OK, but who wants OK? The biggest let down so far has been that, the one person I did seem to connect with told me he “didn’t have it in him to give much of himself to any one right now”. So that sucked. (But, also why are you going on dates if you feel that way? I’m now thinking it was a “it’s not you its me” line. He did seem quite genuine and sincere which is why I liked him so I’ll try not to dwell on that too much.) Hey, it’s only been a little over a month since I got back in the game so …. I have no clue where I am even going with that.

It’s very weird to me telling a date that I have cancer. However I find myself compelled to share every time. It has become a huge part of me now. My biggest fear is that in sharing I’m immediately labeled as an unfit potential mate because I am not in peak physical health. I have a disease that will never go away. And I will be alone forever. Poor sad Danielle right? The handful of guys I have been out with have been very cool about it (to my face). I guess I will always wonder if it will be a factor the weigh when considering a second date with me.

I’ve started therapy. We are going to focus on my anxiety surrounding dating and potential romantic relationships. You can expect more on this topic in the future. Aside from some slight emotional heartache, I’m feeling great! Which I am so thankful for every day. We are working on some exciting new changes on the podcast, which I cannot wait to share. Stay tuned, keep listening and please reach out with comments, stories or just a hello.

This was a shortie.

 

Touch your boobs.

Hold your friends hands.

I love you all.

Until next time.

Comments

  1. I know your soul mate is out there looking to meet you. He will have the kind of love for you that conquers all fears and accepts all. This is just a bump on the road of your young life but you have been given the grace to continue living it to the fullest. When that special person comes along nothing, not even your history of fighting this disease will stand in the way of his love for you. That time will come.

    Liked by 1 person

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